For my 27th birthday, several of my friends were throwing a party for me. Although I knew most of the details, several were being kept a secret. No amount of begging or threatening could make them known. "Tell me! Will there be a cake? Balloons? Kegs?" Nothing! Ugh.
One of the party planners was my friend and coworker, D, who sat in the cube right next to mine. Due to the fact that she sat so close to me, I could easily hear her phone conversations. Days before the party, one particular phone call caught me attention. She was excitedly whispering into the phone, "The police officer can do it." I leaned in to overhear, "Yes, he said that he can come a little early to the party. I know. It's going to be great."
Police Officer?! I usually try to avoid those. Wait a minute. Oh my gawd, have they hired a stripper??!! NOOOOOO. Yuck! Please. NO! I leapt out of my cube and immediately pummeled D with questions. Begging. Pleading. Demanding. She replied with a smug grin, "You'll see."
For the rest of the week, I was beside myself. I proceeded to interrogate everyone that walked across my path. In fact, I was still probing and prodding on the night of the party, up until I heard KNOCK! KNOCK! Gulp! (Door opens.) This big, muscular man enters to say in a gravely voice, "Where's the birthday girl?." Reacting quickly, I immediately explain that, sadly, she's not here right now and, futhermore, I wasn't sure when she was coming back.
Police Officer: (with dismay) "Oh. Okay, well...then where can I set up?"
Me: (Swallowing hard.) "You need to "set up?"
Police Officer: (Looking around.) "Well, yeah. Where should I put all my stuff? I need to set up the lights, speakers and table."
Me: (Feeling queasy.) "WHAT? Woah. Um, woah."
That was all I could squeak out. Table? Lights? Breath, Christy, breathe. I'm about to tell him that he can just keep moving on to the next party when he interrupts me to say...
Police Officer: "I'm the Deejay."
Oh sweet lord! What a sense of relief that washed over me! He is the deejay! Responding to my relieved expression, he explaiend that he is a police officer by day and a deejay by night. D is an old friend of his and so he is deejaying my party as a favor.
The rest of the night was a blast! However, I had shown so much desperation leading up to the event that I received many menancing, taunting phone calls during the party. "Hi. Yeah, this is the stripper and I've having a little trouble finding your house. Will you call me back and give me directions? I need to come over and give you some HOT LOVIN’!" Not funny.
What was funny was that the OFFICIAL Denver PD showed up later to bust the party. They must have had a slow night because there were at least five police cars, lights flashing, that came to kick everyone out. There were so many cop cars and taxis lining Garfield Street, you'd thought we were hosting the Annual Policeman's Ball. Ridiculous!! Of course, we were all outside at 2am chanting, "1, 2, 3, 4,...," as D set the record for keg stands.
